By Professor Chike Anibeze
Perhaps Lady Cordelia Ogbonne Anibeze was prepared early for the life that would confront her in later years. Despite coming from very noble background with outstanding family pedigree, her childhood was shadowed by loss. She was orphaned before the age of ten and spent her formative years living with her aunt until she eventually met the man who would become her husband. Barely above the age of puberty, she started having numerous suitors.
She married young to Sylvester Chidobu Anibeze, and together they had six children, embarking on a life that seemed destined for peace. However, the tragic events of Nigeria’s 1966 coup and the ensuing pogrom shattered their world. Her husband was a casualty of that violence in northern Nigeria. His body was never found. After several agonizing period of waiting that she endured, a symbolic funeral was organized in Enugu and later the fulfilment of the rites was done after three decades. The brutality of the era led to the Nigerian Civil War, during which she tirelessly protected her children, surviving the horrors of war and displacement.
After the war, Mama Cordelia rebuilt her life in Enugu, establishing a thriving trade business that supported her children’s education. From humble beginnings, she became a successful entrepreneur, supplying building materials and constructing drainage for major contractors rebuilding the war-torn Enugu city. Despite the challenges of single motherhood, her ambition never wavered. Her strength, tireless work ethic, and commitment to her community made her a remarkable woman of her generation.
But this piece is not about the successful enterprise Mama Cordelia built; rather, it examines her tenacity in carving a niche for her immediate family into the extended kindred that often frustrates widows after the loss of their husbands. These brutal experiences not only underscore the horrors of the Nigerian civil war but also shaped the character that would eventually catapult Mama Cordelia to the heights of success.
At the outbreak of the Nigeria-Biafra civil war, the first Nigerian offensives led to the fall of Enugu, and families fled in panic to their ancestral villages to escape the approaching violence. Young Cordelia, clutching six children to her bosom, had nowhere to flee. All that awaited her at her husband’s home in Aguobuwa was an uncompleted building, exposed, and surrounded by hostility that felt as dangerous as the war itself. The house was still being developed before her husband’s demise. Rumours swirled that the house stood on sacred ground, Ogbaja – a place forbidden to women, and whispers of ill will from her husband’s kin carried the threat of mortal harm. She would not dare to live in the house with her six children which included a female.
With no refuge left to her, she withdrew temporarily to sojourn in her maiden home, a short distance from her husband’s place. For many women, this would have marked a pause, a surrender to fate and circumstance. But not Mama Cordelia. Even in displacement, her spirit remained unbent. She asked questions, listened closely, and soon uncovered the truth. The tale of sacred land was a fabrication, concocted by treacherous men of her husband’s kindred determined, at all costs, to push her away. Perhaps they could not comprehend how a young, beautiful widow of her age refused to submit herself to replacement, patronage, or dependence within the kindred.
Within two weeks, Mama acted. She organized a group of young men led by her second son, Thomas and within hours cleared all the surrounding Ogilishi shrubs dotting round the house. These shrubs are usually indicators of a sacred entity. With local rafters and wooden shutters, she sealed the gaping windows and claimed the space as home. She returned, resolute and unafraid, and forced her way back into the unfinished compound. In that act, stark and unceremonious, she declared her independence, not with words, but with will. War, widowhood, and malice would not uproot her.
She endured many more wars waged by her husband’s kindred, yet in every encounter she emerged unbroken and victorious. Slowly, resolutely, she carved out her place within the tangled web of family relations, asserting her dignity and authority where once she had been resisted. Life has a curious way of revealing that even in the midst of cruelty and malice, there is always at least one soul untouched by the devil’s designs. For Mama Cordelia, that providential figure appeared in the form of one of the old, titled men among her husband’s kin. A weary elder, Ozo Iyiegbu’s strength lay not in force but in conscience. He lived true to his ozo title which mandates him to speak the truth always. Within the limits of his aging frame, he offered reassurance, counsel, and quiet protection to Mama Cordelia and her children. As time passed, the architects of discord were compelled to sheath their poisoned swords, and a fragile but welcome normalcy returned to the extended family.
With advancing age and the wisdom earned through suffering, Mama would counsel young widows to draw courage from her own life. She urged them to resist the temptation to abandon their husbands’ homes simply because of hostility from surrounding kin, reminding them that perseverance, though costly, could yield peace and vindication. That in Igbo culture, one must give a good family stronghold to the children. That is the only way they will be rooted especially for the males. Abandoning their husband’s place and taking resort to their maiden family homes will not be in the interest of their male children in the Igbo tradition.
One cannot help but ask: from where did this woman draw such strength? Beyond her formidable character and uncommon resolve, Mama Cordelia was sustained by an unshakable faith in God. Christ was her compass and her consolation. A devout Catholic, she prayed the rosary several times daily, immersed herself in the life of the Church, and served faithfully in numerous church societies. In time, her devotion and leadership led to her election as President of the Catholic Women’s Organization at St. Mary’s Church, Trans Ekulu, Enugu. Her disciplined life, marked by daily morning Mass, prayer, and an unwavering commitment to raising her children in the fear of God fashioned a legacy rooted in love, faith, and moral strength.
During those dark seasons of war and widowhood, Mama stood as one sheltered by an unseen hand. Though threatened by kin and encircled by malice, she was never defenceless. Her life bore witness to the truth of Scripture: ”A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling” (Psalm 68:5). When false accusations were hurled against her and danger hovered over her home, the Lord revealed Himself as her refuge. Those who schemed to dispossess her seemed to forget the ancient warning of the Holy book: ”Do not take advantage of the widow… if they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry” (Exodus 22:22–23).
Mama did not cry out loudly; her endurance itself became her prayer. Unshielded by walls or weapons, yet clothed in faith, she lived beneath the promise that ”He will cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge; his faithfulness will be your shield” (Psalm 91:4).
It is one year Mama Cordelia Anibeze was laid to rest at the venerable age of ninety-four, yet her presence lingers alive in memory, luminous in example. Her life stands as a beacon, especially to widows who walk the narrow path between loss and survival. Confronted by war, superstition, and the calculated cruelty of men, God Himself became her defender. Sheltered beneath His wings, she survived the violence of history, gathering her children to her bosom as a hen shields her brood from the storm. With a spirit both steadfast and unyielding, she outlasted the cruelty of intimate structures, kinship turned hostile, tradition sharpened into a weapon against widowhood. Anchored in quiet, relentless strength and sustained by an unshakeable trust in God, Mama Cordelia stood firm against every tide and emerged victorious. Her life remains a testimony: that faith can outlive war, dignity can outlast cruelty, and a woman, upheld by God, can never truly be defeated. Rest in peace, mama. We love you.
Chike Anibeze is Professor of Anatomy& Neurobiology/Director Academic Planning, Enugu State University of Science and Technology.
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